The Bull Case for BretCoin
Why should you invest your hard-earned money into me?
Because I’m a stock that’s about to pop.
Sure you probably haven’t heard of me.
But this, my dear savvy potential investor, works precisely in our favor.
It means I’ve got nothing but upside.
In fact, buying BretCoin now would be like buying Amazon stock at $4.00.
That’s right.
I’ve been filling this rocket with fuel the last seven years. Now, I’m ready for takeoff.
All I need is your investment to do it.
What’s in the tank?
Lots, including:
an hour comedy special
(millions of views across social media)
a Mandarin dub of said hour comedy special
(crucial for entering the highly-lucrative Chinese market)
a seminal jazz album
(charted at #34 on jazz)
a burgeoning cumrag empire
(trademark-pending),
a solo podcast devoted to nothing but the plugs
(groundbreaking)
a trio podcast with the world’s best OJ takes
(earth-shattering)
the world’s most wholesome OnlyFans
(self-explanatory)
and, now, a cryptocurrency
(moonshot potential)
All of this comprises the total Intellectual Property of one Bret Raybould, a collection of work I affectionately refer to as the BCU (Bret Cinematic Universe).
Pictured above: you, if you don’t buy into BretCoin.
In addition, I’ve also launched an upstart screenwriting career, winning Best Comedy script at a prestigious screenwriting competition among a pool of 5500 scripts.
Currently that script - a slapstick comedy about race called “Race: The Movie (it’s about race)” - is receiving industry circulation.
In fact, all money invested in BretCoin will go toward making that movie - thus providing increased value to the shareholders. More on that saga here.
But enough about me.
This is about you, and your decision to build generational wealth for your family.
Put your money where my mouth is.
Buy in to BretCoin.
And together, we’ll ride into fiscal Valhalla.